I want you to take a moment and quiet yourself and your busy mind and reflect on your life. I use the word ‘reflect’ purposely. What does your life look like to you? What image bounces back at you? What do you feel about that reflected image of your life?
By using reflection as a tool to ‘see’ yourself and ‘feel’ yourself in the life you are living, you establish what you like about your life and take control of what you don’t. What you don’t like can change by using some very simple scientifically proven, peer reviewed tools. Using reflection as a tool brings you into the present, into this moment, to this feeling, this perception, this image and emotion of yourself.
Any change you want to make happens by a step in the direction you want to go. And every time you see a result it will motivate you to take the next step. That is the journey of success – steps, just steps.
Now back to the reflecting image of your life. Before we go on, take your pen and paper and jot down as fully as possible what this image is. Draw pictures, add descriptive words, add your feelings and the stories or labels you attach to the feelings and images of your life.
Framing your life.
I’d like you to really spend time on this and create some space in your life and your day to examine this and think about what is written on this paper. This is your life as you see it. As you only have one life and you live that life every day, it’s important to see, think and feel about how you are living it. This is the first step. You are framing your life as you see it and taking those vague feelings and dissatisfaction and clarifying what it actually means. You are going to do it in steps. Don’t skip the basics because they form an integral part of this process. These steps are going to make change happen in your life.
By clarifying what you like and don’t like you’ve framed the areas you want to change by defining them. You did that with words and images when you thought about how you felt and what picture your life conjured up. You then framed your life with words by writing it down.
Your launching point.
It sounds simple, but words create. Changing your brain with words! New science shows that positive words such as ‘peace’ and ‘love’ propel the motivational centres of the brain into action. Hostile language disrupts specific genes that play a key part in the neuro-chemicals that protect us from stress. A single negative word can increase the activity of our amygdala (fear centre of the brain), releasing stress producing hormones and neurotransmitters. Images do the same.
Look at your list again. Start building a picture of what your perfect life would look like with an image, words, sounds and emotions. See yourself as a movie producer. You are making a film that must contain all the elements needed to create something that will sweep you away into this totally believable world. Spend time daily experiencing what you, as the producer, created and add to it, polish it and experience it. Sit surrounded by your perfect life for a moment and experience all of the sights, sounds, tastes, words etc. that it encompasses. Let it wash over you and sweep you along. This is a very important step in creating what you want and this ‘living the dream’ will help you with it.
Create some space.
Your brain is a highly efficient organ that will revert to auto pilot whenever it’s not in the present thinking mode. So, how do you get your brain into a present, creative state?
Find a quiet spot and sit comfortably. Relax and just breathe. Focus on your breathing, keep your attention on each breath. If your mind starts wandering (and it will because that’s what minds do) just bring it back to your breathing. Follow the breath. This is one of the easiest ways to train yourself to be aware of this moment instead of planning some future moment that has not happened. It is calming and focuses your attention. Fold this 5 minute breathing into your day and try to do it three or four times a day. This small 15 – 20 minute investment out of every 24 hours pays a huge dividend you will only experience in the doing – take the step by making time each day to do this, even once a day. You will feel the benefit in your life when you bring yourself into the present.
Don’t believe breathing could change your thinking and your physical brain? There are literally thousands of scientific reports that prove this but the best way to find out if it’s true is to investigate by doing it for 30 days. Breathing improves emotional and brain function. Science shows that having focused attention on the breath changes grey matter in the brain.
Here’s how to find the time to do this. The next time you reach for your phone to check your social media, check yourself and rather use the 5 minutes to breathe and smile – you’ll feel better for it and you are actually investing in a concrete way into achieving the future you want – and your brain will still get its dopamine shot! By just reducing how much time you spend on your social media slightly, you’ve incorporated a life changing habit and you’ll still have time for everything that’s trending! Win-win.
Your Payback. To do your 5 minute routine may be hard initially, but remember you focusing your breath is grounding you in the moment. Your brain works all the time and breathing is a way to calm your brain and release some bandwith for new projects – it helps you be creative and allows you the space between the tasks of life to capture what you are saying inside yourself. You are going to find the most amazing insights following your breathing sessions.
Real-time living.
Get into the habit of doing your 5 minute breathing as often as you feel you need grounding and bringing into the present. By being in the moment you are living in real time. Right now you are most probably planning something or thinking about something or doing something. We do this. We fill the moments of our lives. We spend an awful lot of time living in the next moment just beyond this one and so we don’t connect to the reality of what and who we are in this moment. It’s so easy to be planning that meeting or dinner or that career move or the grocery list in this moment, isn’t it? But if we are constantly crowding out this real moment of life we are in now by future moments we do not yet have we end up never living in real time. To fully live this life, we have to stop and be in this moment, experience what is around us, connect with the whole body, where you’re sitting, the sounds and sights around you. Look and feel – really experience this moment. It’s in this moment that you’ll find your inspiration, your crystalised desires and how to frame the thing you want to do and birth into the world. So don’t skip the basics because they form an integral part of this process. These steps are going to make it happen in your life. Breathe deep and smile, your life is heading in the direction you want.
Move your brain into action.
Why do I put so much emphasis on the simple act of consciously breathing? You have a most intuitive brain, constantly accommodating millions of micro impulses. The two actions of breathing and smiling will relax you and help you focus happily in the moment. Smiling signals your brain and your brain releases chemicals into your body that lifts your mood, so use it as a tool even if initially you don’t feel like smiling. It’s a healthy habit. Your brain will respond because your body is doing it and actually then help you feel happier.
You are now fully in your life and armed with your reflection we started off with. You can now use the power of your intuitive state in a body flooded with happiness to plan how you want to implement new things in your life. By using reflection as a tool to ‘see’ yourself and ‘feel’ yourself in the life you are living, you establish what you like about your life and take control of what you don’t.
I have some great workshops and courses coming up. The above is distilled from some of my books and courses. Register interest by letting me know what you are interested in https://ligeiavagharshagian.com/contact/
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Dr Ligeia Vagharshagian
